Today i woke up feeling like a grizzly bear punched me in the stomache, so i continued to say there until i hear a constant pushing noise, when i look up my cat is using her head to push my water bottles off my head board and on to my head in attempt to kill me for not feeding her when she asked by biting my arm at 6 in the morning. I decided that it was a sign to get up, and obviously feed her because i honestly dont know what else she is capable of. I had some toast for breakfast, where my cat also kept yelling at me and climb all over my breatfast, because she has this unhealthy love for butter.
My day continued on, as normal, until around 2 oclock, when things started to head south. Previously before this i consumed a lunch the portion size of what a water buffalo could consume, so i was a little uncomfortable. Anyways i got to my 2 oclock class when i realized my class had migrated right over the equator because it was an uncomfortable 200 degrees farenheit in there. Nobody seemed to be reacting to the heat the way i was. I wondered if they were already used to these extreme temperatures.
I was wearing a sweater with a tshrit underneath, so i go to take off the sweater when i realized i have not shaved my arm pits in weeks, because its usually cold, and i decided i did not want to scare off people with all my arm pit hair so i put the sweater back on and my mustache had beads of sweat on it and i was breathing really heavy by now, so im sure no one in the class will try to talk to me now.
So i got out my notebook when i overheard a conversation between a student and a teacher. the teacher was explaining that if this student needed to reach her she should do so by email, when the student said, no really she really said this… “Email is not my strong suit”….. you go to college, thats what you do, you email professors. What is her strong suit, i bet she rights notes on parchment with a quill and straps them to passerby pigeons and trust them to deliver her messages. And then a lot of things happened, i had the taste of nachoe liquid cheese in my mouth, even though i did not eat any liquid cheese, and i then i hallucinated some girl playing farmville across the aisle way, no wait, she was ACTUALLY playing farmville, this did NOT make me feel any better, like it was an omen of sorts. I assumed the heat had finally hit my brain and was messing me, when i heard my teacher actually say the words “for the greater good” (if you dont know it is a big saying in harry potter about killing muggles and stuff) when i realized she was probably a dark wizard lord and she probably had a dark mark branded on her forearm because she always wore huge weird sweaters like someone that was color blind probably sewed it together using forks and spit… it also didnt help when she started talking about wizardry and socerery and stuff, which i probably also could have hallucinated from the extreme heat as i was trapped in my sweater jail, but i think she actually said those things and is ,in fact, a wizard lord.
We had to write a paragraph at the end of class i just remember writing anything, anything i could that would get me out there the fastest, because by this time she had turned the lights on and im sure everyone could see how red my face was, and i probably was sweating so much that i sweat through my heavy duty sweater. I rushed through that paragraph and ran out the dorr, which probably looked like a fast pace waddle because my bookbag was heavy and i had all my other stuff in my hands. When i finally reached the doors i continued my fast paced waddle to my car to get to into the air conditioning. I reached the parking garage stairs (I was on level 4 of 4 today naturally) and i climb these stairs, and i feel like im climbing to heaven because i will naturally die in that stairwell, when i get to level 3 i actually touch the railing on the side to help me get up the stairs ( i never touch the railings because i assume they are coated with germs of all types and sizes and if i touch one it will slowly attack my immune system and kill me). I finally made it to my car, and now i am in my house, alive thankfully, i was sure i was not going to make it today.