The mailman thinks i’m a freak.

Published November 9, 2011 by shadycatlady

Yeah, so, after my grocery store experience .

Which by the way, it is impossible to get printable coupons because its a cult and you have to give them all your information in order to see the coupons and you click the print button, and they just dont print out.

I was outraged. i wanted a dollar off my kitty litter and i wait for this coupon to print for 15 minutes and nothing. it even said it was sending it to my printer and everything. I dont trust Tidy Cats.

ANYWAYS, this cat litter is about 100 pounds and im holding it my left hand (my obvious weak hand) with three bags in my right hand, one bad has 2 frozen pizzas in it so the boxes poke through the bag handles and its really awkward to hold, so im, again, waddling through the store and then i try to hold it with both hands and walk to my car and people are staring at me and i forgot to get my keys out and when i get out side we have a wind speed 500mph and my hair is in my eyes and i almost get hit by car. and then i finally load up all my groceries and they spill out all over the seat and im like great

another thing i have to deal with, i hate krogering

so i get home, get my keys ready, and grab all my groceries and i try to balance my 100 pound tub of kitty litter in my thin porch railing when the wind knocks it over and the cap explodes and kitty litter is laying all over the porch.

Im like great, i paid FULL PRICE for this kitty litter and its laying all over my porch, and its still 500mph winds outside.

So, being the resourceful woman i am, i decided to sit indian style on my porch and scoop up all this cat litter and put it back in the tub.

And then i hear the faint sound of a muffler in the distance. It could be my grandmother (unlikey as she dishes out license plates at the, uh license plates place or whatever) or…….. the mailman.

great. now we have to move

the mailman watched me sit indian style on my porch, with my hair blowing in all directions scooping handfuls of kitty litter and putting it into a tub, with the cap exploded all over the porch, i literally looked like i might have escaped a mental institution. He put the mail in my box really fast and drove away

now that i think about it, i might have enabled the craziness, because i firmly watched him, watching me.

ALSO just a little pet peeve in those cheesy general auto insurance commercials they have that jingle, like, even i can recite the ridiculous jingle, and in the commercial they have like actors singing it at the end, well more like chanting because they cant sing, obviously, and this one guy does not get one word right…..

AND THEY STILL PUT IT ON TV!!

the people were probably like “Oh stan (his name was probably stan, it always is)  nobody will notice we can afford to do another take because were poor blahblahblah”

but i notice, and its the only thing i see when i watch that commercial……

also sometimes my hand touches my armpit, and then my hand eventually, somehow, makes its way into my mouth, and i end up eating my deodorant and it is a little disgusting. and i hate when i happens because it does not taste like flowers or anything, but i cant really help it, it always happens…

Lastly, me and my friends tried to make 7 layer jello today, but we didnt have a right size pan and i bought the wrong amount of jello and i missed some ingredients . so it turned into 4 layer jello with a lot of ice cubes it in, which resulted in alot of holes, because i dont like waiting.

We also tried to make a cool bowl with blue jello and gummy fish but  the gummy fish at the store were made in 1899 and felt like little blue and white bricks shaped like sharks, so i bought gummy worms, and we used red jello instead of blue jello, and the gummy worms melted when we put them into the bowl. it was tragic. here are pictures.

the glorious 4 layers.

the bowl with all the melted gummy worms. and my tears.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: