the short lived softball career my family never lets me live down

Published November 21, 2011 by shadycatlady

Its been a while since i’ve blogged….. for no reason at all because we all know i havent busy actually doing productive stuff. so here i am again, to brief you on my weekend!

First of all It was snowing on thursday before my class, and my snowing i mean a couple flaked fell down from the sky which may have been dandruff because it was so sparse. But i get into class and this girl was like, “yeah well it was snowing outside” and im like why do you feel like the need to broadcast the weather in a voice where it makes it seem like your better than everyone else because you seen some dandruff flakes, but whatever i shot her dirty looks to the the back of her head the whole time. and when i get outside its actually snowing, not dandruff snow, REAL snow, and im like omg its snowing!! so naturally i text everyone i can think of to tell them its snowing, because, well, ITS SNOWING. then i felt like a hypocrite.

Then friday in my film class, we have quizzes at the beginning of class, then watch a movie, then have a quiz over the movie the next friday. So, these dudes in my class that sit behind me maybe the most retarded people to ever grace the planet (I never exaggerate). They come to class EVERY FRIDAY MORNING, and are all like

Hey stoner bro man dude did you watch the movie

no but i like read about it on IMDB (obviously equivalent to watching it)

yeah dude me either 

Did you know you can like um watch any movie you want on Youtube and its like really high quality bro dude stoner

And then they take the quiz and leave……every time….

The conversation had a lot less stoner bro man dudes in it, but you get the idea. YOU DONT NEED TO WATCH IT ON YOUTUBE YOU CAN WATCH IT HIGH QUALITY RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW IN THE CLASS YOUR ALREADY IN! but they leave, and probably fail every quiz because they dont want to sit there for 2 hours in a class they are already seated in, to watch a movie which they’re going to try to watch on youtube later on…………..

I had this very short lived, very tragic, softball career in probably like the second grade, and nobody ever lets me forget it. Not that i could if i tried. We were at a game and i was wearing low pigtails, very cute but still serious tomboy softball-ish, and they made me stand on the pitchers mound and watch the guy pitch to the batters, to learn or something i dont know. I dont expect anyone to hit the ball, and nobody expects me to catch it, obviously. Well this kid took his daily dose of horse tranquilizer steroids that day and blasts this ball at what, at the time, i presume is 150 mphs, to fast for me to think about my actions. So instead of putting my glove up to catch it, or diving out of the way, i let this jet plane softball hit me square in the forehead and then everything went black. Now i dont really remember anything after that, except for i never went back because that crap just wasnt even worth it, but i was told it involved a lot of laughing and probably some type of lifetime achievement award to the batter for fastest pitch and fastest K.O in a co-ed second grade softball team. So tragic for me.

ANYWAYS it took me about 5 hours to clean my shoebox sized room, without any distractions, and yes i have cleaned it before but sometimes it gets out of hand and your mom is supposed to help you but she doesnt and you end up just sitting there in items of dirty rooms past.

So i did alllllllll my laundry and my hamper is empty, and my cat usually hops on the dirty clothes to hop onto other stuff in my closet. Yeah so she obviously went to hop on the clothes and she just fell right in. I found her stuck in there, plotting her escape and my death, so i kindly let her out, so i think the karma is cleared and were friends again.

My mom also bought me a mini glorious wolf notebook so i can write all my thoughts down in it for this blog, and she also bought me..

new pens.

New pens are like crack. I love them so much. They glide so smooth across my paper and i dont have to shake the crap out of it or lick the top to get it to work. I just want to use them all at the same time and write one huge letter with my 12 new crack pens.

Actually i feel that way about all office supplies. I’m positive office max is heaven and if i could find a car freshener thing that smelled like office max i would buy 500 of them because i love the smell of new office supplies.

I had to get up early for school today because i had to dress cute and presentable because my car needs air my tires so i do not die, because me and my mom tried to put air in them and im sure we just let more air out. So i have to stop at the valvoline by my school to see if they can fill up my tires or something. I needed to dress cute because i dont know if it costs money, but im not paying money for air, so i hope i look cute enough and act confused enough that they would do it for free… We’ll see, im sure i’ll have to pay.

There is also this girl in my math class with the most squeaky annoying voice, so always tells these awesome stories about her weekend where she drank 14 bottles of vodka without a chaser and then had some whiskey and hung out with a bunch of boys who are all in love with her. Yeah, THAT girl. The one who always think she has great ideas but will probably only end with her ruffied, with an underage, and some form of an STD. So basically she just talks the whole time and doesnt do any math and , naturally, sits by only 8 guys who i assume take turns being her math boyfriend. Today she  rested her head on her Monday math boyfriend and they both drifted into a slumber where they dreamed of the complement and unions of probabilities.

She will do great things.

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5 comments on “the short lived softball career my family never lets me live down

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