VSFS, super powers, stolen wallets and bagels and poop river.

Published November 29, 2011 by shadycatlady

I’ve gotten two hits from google these past two days, and each time someone googled the words “Mario Kart lamp” and ended up on this garbage dump of a blog entry.

So, to this mystery person, I’d like to publicly apologize for the fact that you accidentally ended up here instead of finding your one of kind novelty mario kart lamp. I feel your pain, really.

You know how they like animals and babies and stuff can sense ghosts or spirits (not the juicy booze kind) because they like have tiny brains and stuff. Well i try not to believe that crap.

but i do.

BECAUSE my cat was sitting on my dresser, staring into my closet with her little tiny cat eyes darting all over the place, and then she would run over there and run back and watch my closet again

And im like, oh s-h-i-t. no. nononononono. Come here pretty kitty and lay down for the love of god quit freaking me come here kitty kitty kitty ive got a warm bed and an endless supply of saucers of milk.(all in super high singy song kinda voice)

It’s always saucers of milk, never cups or bowls or anything normal.

But i obviously keep my composure because ghosts enter you through your fear i am told. I believe everything that has to do with the supernatural, not because im gullible, but because im taking all the precautions because this ghost thing has already died. IT FEARS NOTHING.

I also imagine that heaven would be like Ikea. Just an endless supply of already made and decorated bedrooms and living rooms and kitchens and what nots.

Plus its all like suuuuuper affordable. so that would be wish, to die and then live on in a world of Ikeas, because i feel nothing is more perfect than that.

There is nothing worse then the feeling of knowing your getting a new zit when your in public. And dont try to act all superior like this has never happened before, because quite frankly, that is BS.

I felt it at school, and i knew that it was probably red all over the place and the people in that class already think im a freak because i ran into a table and then my “if i was a rich girl” ringtone came on. So i did the thing where i act like im day dreaming of a perfect life where i run barefoot through the fields with my cat and other things that i love (which is sparse) and hold my hand to my cheek and fake gaze into the distance.

but really im just hiding my hideous skin blemish.

When i was standing in the hallway waiting my my class to open, this person comes up and stands RIGHT NEXT TO ME. there is so much space left to stand, why would you ever pick to stand so close to me

So i immediately moved, to let this obviously ill informed person know that things like that are just not okay.

I finally got my favorite 21 glee songs on a CD so i can listen to them in my car, and should really have a record deal. Im such a great singer, ESPECIALLY when it is glee edition anything. I love glee songs, and i love how good i am at singing them.

In my great city of where i attend school it decided to rain, A LOT, yesterday, like noah and the arc a lot. But then it decided to be so windy that  it just rained sideways so my umbrella was utterly useless for me. So it did that all day and my pants were soaked, and my socks were wet from the water soaking through my shoes, YAY. It also did that TODAY! So the river that flows through my campus that somebody beautifully named “Poop River” when they spray painted that across the bridge, was at an ultimate high. It was swallowing trees and touching bridges and what not, it was all bad for school these past two days.

Some kid in my class (the one with the pocket constitution) was talking about the reading today, but he was talking about it at 12:15, the exact moment we should be gone. But he didnt care because he loves school and America. So everyone in class was glaring at me, with our meanest faces. and i know we were all thinking the same thing, “maybe if we stare long and hard enough, he will catch on fire.”

Tonight is the elusive Victoria Secret fashion show. I hate that all the girls are excited about it. like Omg the victoria secret fashion show maybe all the dudes will think im hott because i wanna watch girls in their underwear and i cant wait to buy all this stuff and ill watch it because i look so good in my underwear and im fabulous. blah blah blah

Because the second that train wreck is over, ALL i see on facebook and twitter is omg im so fat im not eating i cant wait to look like a victoria secret model with my strict diet of saltines and low fat tang.

pffft i see girls in their under garments EVERYDAY, why the frick do i wanna watch on TV?

I also found out i have two exams at the same exact time. they take special precautions to prevent this from happening.

so it naturally happened to me.

I wonder if i’d rather pass math or film? hmmm decisions.

OH and i only have 3 exams. OH AND THEYRE ALL ON FRIDAY.

wooowooo shout out to people who hand out good luck, but forgot to give me some…..

I also had a dream last night that a scammer scammed my bff’s mom and took all of her wallets and bagels, and then opened up a bagel and wallet store with them.

And im not talking a couple of bagel and wallets at your shady corner store.

Im talking HUNDREDS of wallets and bagels in, like a T.J Maxx sized store.

I dont know why she had so many wallets and bagels. But me and my BFF eventually found out of his wallet and bagel stealing shenanigans, so instead of alerting the authorities we knocked everything off of the shelves. go us.


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