tear away pants, baldness, pants crapper, cats–they love butter.

Published December 3, 2011 by shadycatlady

As i sit here and enjoy my cookie for breakfast, i figured i should brief you on the past couple of days.

I got my hair dyed. Super dark.

Im a blonde so it was a pretty drastic change but i like it, but this isnt really where i was going with the story.

Where i was goiiiing, was i had like 25 little colored extensions in and i figured i should take them out before i got my hair done. Since i am a licensed professional when it comes to hair, i bought the professional use only glue remover, so i was all yeah this is gunna be a breeze! 

It was not a breeze.

The instructions were as follows: Rub the remover on the glue bond. Wait 10 seconds, and then use pliers to crack the glue bond and pull it out.

PLIERS? yeah okay.

So i naturally i tried it out before i went to school and would do the rest after school.

I grab the piece in my bangs, dowse it in the “remover” (im sure its just nail polish remover because that is exactly what it smells like) i patiently wait 10 seconds, while my scalp itches because some accidently fell on there, and then i take these huge pliers that im sure take off car tires or something and i cant even hold them and im tying to crack the bonds or whatever, and im squashing it all flat and what not so i figure its probably good to pull out. So im pulling on it and it just doesnt seem any easier, anyways im sure i pulled out all of my bangs, but it did get easier towards the end. But i still have no bangs.

In my film class yesterday my teacher was talking about the Production Code Authority but he abbreviated it to PCA. So the whole res of the class i was day dreaming about Zoey 101 because she goes to PCA (Pacific Coast Academy) and it looks really fun and awesome there and theyre never class and theyre always doing awesome things. Which is a lot cooler than censorship laws if you ask me

Also someone google “Bill cosby Sweaters For Sale” twice yesterday and once today already! but instead of finding some sweet knitted crew neck sweaters, they ended up reading this blog entry from me. I would like to apologize again. ANNND someone googles mario kart lamp again and ended up here. So i would like to apologize to you people.

and i also think i know what the big ticket items for christmas are winkwink, get everyone bill cosby sweaters and mario kart lamps!

Im currently on the hunt for some fabulous animal print tear-away pants because my moms friends son’s favorite music video is “im sexy and i know it”.

He’s 9.

and he especially loves the “wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah” where they shake their man junk around all over the place.

So for christmas i would like to get him tear-away pants because im sure its the thing hes going to ask for forever, but never get, and i feel that pain. Because for years ALLL i wanted was a my size barbie, and i never got it…..

Me and my mom were running around andersons in reeeeal hurry last night because it was like 8:30 and they closed at 9 anf they were all getting upset and had mean faces on so we grabbed this cookie mix because it made 3 dozen cookies and we were like perfect, so we grabbed two. When we got home we realized the brand was ‘Krusteaze’ so yeah, never shop in a hurry because you’ll get crap like that.

Me and my mom were going to make like 6 dozen christmas cookies last night, and we need two sticks of butter.

We had exactly 2 sticks of butter. It was beyond perfect. But they had to be room temperature so we set them out she brought the christmas tree inside (yeah it’s real) and i took shower.

When i got out my mom said We have problem

When i got to the kitchen, i understood completely. My cat had head butted this stick of butter off of the counter ATE THE WRAPPER and then ate half of the stick.

my cat ate HALF OF A STICK OF BUTTER.

she loves butter so much, but that was a little ridiculous. She was punished with no love or sweet kibble before she went to bed, because she was already full of butter. plus she ruined me and my moms plan to make an asinine amount of christmas cookies.

We went to Toys R Us yesterday to do some christmas shopping when we realized that we were about to park riiiiight next to a freakin diaper. Which causes me to believe that some kid was SO excited to be at Toys r us that they literally pooped their pants with excitement, and the mom was probably all stressed out and had frizzy hair with egg shells in it like the infomercials, and just didnt feel like dealing with a number 2 so she just threw out the diaper and moved on with her life of discounted toys and horrible customer service.

We got our tree yesterday from a little tree farm because fake trees are un-constitutional. But it was freezing out so we picked out tree and had my dad wait by it while we payed for it and then sat in the car, but NOBODY came to help him.. like nobody. i watched the guy walk back inside to heated hut and i was like o h-e double hockey sticks no. SO i flew open the truck door, marched over there to his little Dojo and was like listen bro nobody got us our tree yet! and he was all oh my gosh im so sorry i didnt even know. so he was probably scared because im a little intimidating. So we finally got our tree.

I also woke up in a different outfit then i went to sleep in? does this happen to anyone else. Why did i get up in the middle of the night and change my outfit?

The world may never know.

But my mother made me an egg white omlete today but i red sprinkle somehow got in it and i thought it was blood so i freaking out, like oh god mom this is blood. like im sure a baby chicken was bleeding in there. i dont handle hurt animals very well.

I hit a bird with my car once and cried for 10 minutes, it was horrid.

But it turns out it was a sprinkle and i ate it and it was delicious.

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One comment on “tear away pants, baldness, pants crapper, cats–they love butter.

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