dolla dolla bills yall, pet peeves and fetus look alikes!

Published December 6, 2011 by shadycatlady

TV shows are always way cooler than real life. But im mostly referring to one instance here.

Gossip girl phone conversations

chuck its serena

hey serena

i need your help meet me at some overpriced cafe

*click*

and then its done. They just hang up the phone when they’re done talking and don’t even say bye. Im going to start doing that. Its just way cooler than saying bye. Just say what you need to say and hang the freak up. It so bad ass. So i apologize in advanced for the people i talk to on the phone.

I do not understand why people pin dollars to their shirts on their birthday?

Do people actually hand them dollars all day, like people they dont even know?

Thats just so werid to me, so many things could go wrong. People could still and rip the pin and money off your shirt and then youll have a hole in your shirt and all your birthday dollars stolen.

Plus it kinda trashy, like Its my birthday please gimme a dollar please please please, oooh look at all my dollars arnt you jelly?

no im not jelly, im a classy lady who will keep my birthday safe in my wallet because im not a big fat loser.

The salad place at my school (i eat salads by force, not choice) has these things called chick peas. I dont even really know what they are, but they honestly look disgusting. and people put them on their salads!!!

it looks like a one inch circular fetus.

picture it, its disgusting. just a wet little flesh colored ball, but im done talking about this because im gagging writing it and i dont think rice and potato skins are fun to vomit, or taste good the second time around.

Speaking of salads, ive said it once and ill say it again, there is no graceful way to eat spinach.

because of the tails

so im sitting at my two person table just trying to eat this salad as fast as possible, and the person at the two person table across form me is sitting facing me. Is there not a unspoken rule?

Shes just sitting there watching these spinach tails whip all over my face. Why dont you take a picture you weirdo pervert quit looking at me.

So then i felt all weird and project my weird ora over to her to make her leave so i could eat my salad in peace.

And then girl comes into my english class and sits behind me and starts chewing her fritos in the dead silence RIGHT behind me.

I should preface this with the fact that i have a disease that makes me want to punch people in the face who chew loud. or just chew in general, or crunch anything, or drink anything loud.

Those things literally make me want to vomit, i wish i could tell you are serious i am right now and how im not exaggerating at all, because ive been told im dramatic. I basically can not eat with people because it literally disgusts me.

So i just kept moving my desk forward and i dont care if she thought i was being mean because it saved her two black eyes and then when i got far enough way and i had to like keep plugging and unplugging my ears really fast so i couldnt hear it.

i love glee ive been listening to we are young on repeat from tonights episode. haters gun hate yall.

peace and love, trouty mouth.

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