Day three of my kardashian binge has ensued. I may need an intervention soon because none of this feels normal.
I don’t even think i know real words or like, slang anymore. I just know the words doll and bible (which means swear to god) and perf (perfect) and other super adorable abbreviations.
And i found myself googling how to open my own boutique just like dash because i love clothes and stuff and Kourtney is cute and i may have a girl crush on her, which is awesome because i just seen her make out with a girl so i totally have a chance.
I think after this i may throw all my stuff away and start all over and my kardashian like wardrobe on because they ALWAYS look cute. Plus im pretty sure im going to buy extensions and have wavy hair with a middle part and not look like a ninety’s grunge band guitarist.
I really want the swively sidekick phone but i think tmobile has like, THEE, worst service like of ever. seriously. So im at a crossroads in my life.
omg, the kardashian lingo has found its way into my life.
As much i probably need help with this addiction, i dont think i want any.
Bruce got a colonoscopy and he was doing the cleansing thing the night before and almost full on took a dump in his gold medal olympic pants.
Kris jenner got a monkey because she missed having babies and put her (Suzy) in little girl clothes and fed her cheerios and stuff, the whole thing was wild.
And i mean im sorry this is all im talking about but i have not left my mothers room with netflix in it for like three days.
Im pretty sure im getting a double chin. for lunch yesterday i had garlic breadsticks dipped in garlic sauce, so it was basically like i was drinking garlic sauce, like some weird sexy fantasy except there was nothing sexy about it because i was eating like a ravished beast. and then for dinner i had dark chocolate ice cream with gummy bears and reeses pieces, a bag of doritos, and a chicken quesadilla. two chins people, two chins.
and thats why i dont leave the kardashian fortress because there is no food in here so im just sitting here not getting double chins, and fantasizing about my future life.
Ill just say my new years resolution is to work out so i can say its like a pre-resolution thing and then ill probably never work out because my new years resolution is to have long hair and be tan and stuff. very deep meaningful resolutions.
omg. scott just showed up in miami. Everything i planned on writing is gone because i cant focus on anything else because this made me forget everything.
I love Scott. omg. i cant wait until they get back together.
I just gotta go pronto. Maybe ill have more exciting things to talk about later if someone asks me to leave the fortress..