Archives

All posts for the month January, 2012

My school is famous, and it is not from me…..

Published January 31, 2012 by shadycatlady

I had plans to blog today and now i remember nothing. But i did find this hilarious picture of Santana from glee (my faaaav character) which describes me perfectly.

My former high school is on MTV right now and it is a really weird experience. To bad they weren’t there last year, because they could’ve snagged me up because i am very charming and nice and stuff……..

Okay im not really nice.

but it is weird to see people i know on MTV, plus it is all anyone is tweeting about and facebooking about because its the biggest thing to happen here since like probably everything. not counting the drug raids and underage drinkers at dances.

am I even allowed to say that? oh well.

I also had to apply to jobs today since my current job cut my hours by like 99%.

I have not had to fill out an application in sooo long. And i hate doing it because the boxes to write stuff are so small and sometimes my hand writing sucks and 2 out of the 3 places wanted resumes.

a resume? i dont do shit.

what do i put on a resume if i have not done anything…..

Ill tell you what i DID put though.

Under the sonic section i put “Make customers happy by wearing a giant cherry limeade costume”.

What have I got to lose really? I tried really hard to find the picture of me in the costume but it is lost, as soon as i find it, it is going on the internet that is FOR SURE.

So hopefully they call me back. because im hilarious and can obviously withstand extreme heat

OH if youre wondering the 3 places i’ve applied 2 are tanning salons and 1 is a bridal shop. because i love weddings…..and being tan.

Me and my mom also made a suuuuuper good dinner and it looked like thisss!

They are mini deep dish pizzas

annnnnd… MY MOM STARTED A BLOG so you can get the step by step here ——-> MY MOMS FOOD BLOG!!!!!!!!!

You wont be disappointed because she is a great cook.

Well she has to be, because i am a very picky eater……

OH and even my cat liked it

so read on readers. READ ON

also if you would please watch made in honor of a hockey we lost a couple of weeks ago Cody Van Hersett.

Alyssa made into a hockey player. google that or some shit, i cant do all the work for you guys.

Advertisements

But why am I white?

Published January 29, 2012 by shadycatlady

Well i want to be Greek.

Me and my mother watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding last night and it just looked so fun. There was cousin nikki who tastefully hoochie and was all loud and had big hair and made the wedding book full of crystals and feathers (I would be cousin Nikki obviously) and then there was my personal favorite, Aunt Voula, who was just great. Plus when she had her “boposy” she discovered her twin on her neck which is both bad ass and probably unsanitary.  and she also wants to cook lamb for vegetarians, because quite frankly, she can do whatever she wants.

OH plus joey fatone is in it! Hello 90’s dream.

Plus cousin Nikki has a mustache.

Also might I add since im not barbaric I do NOTT want to roast a lamb in my front yard. That stuff is NOT for me. I dont even like meat in my spaghetti. Let alone its whole body roasting in my front yard.

Also since my work cut my hours by like, All of them practically, I need you all to share this with your friends so people will pay me to advertise on here because my mom said i need to establish a budget…even though they say i have not learned the value of a dollar yet so they are setting me up to fail.

Evidently they say that they don’t want to hear me complain about having no money and then getting my nails done. But if they took the time to look at my chipped gel polish they would notice that it is a need and NOT a want anymore.

none the less i should prrrrobably find a small side job incase my work decides to give me more hours, because i actually love it there. But i’ll need money between now and then, so the search begins. But im picky i dont want to have to do a lot of work or sweat or be around greasy food and have splatter on my face and give me acne. But i don’t want to be to particular.

Also my obsession for Harry Potter is growing by the minute so i’m probably going to have some crazy freak out from withdrawals since there is no new movies ever and get a huge Harry Potter mural tattooed on me. My love runs deep.

I currently have goblet of fire playing on my television, although it is not my favorite, I’ll give you a very straight forward ‘hint’

I LOOOOOVE THE THIRD ONE.

love. love. love.

I also Severus and Sirius but my mom is making me go make smoothies with her plus i think i have homework….. Oh look and ‘E card’ to explain my situation!

*cough*cough* school…….

I’d rather break my legs!

HP4EVER

Lazy day with a theme this time!!

Published January 27, 2012 by shadycatlady

Well im going to be lazy again and post a bunch of pictures to make you laugh instead of taking the time to write words that might make you guys laugh.

Except today, i was inspired, and I have thought of a rockin theme for pictures today….

‘ARRY POTTAH!!!

what inspired this theme you ask? Well let me tell you.

I have the most annoying people ever in all my classes so obviously my class today wouldnt be any different. The kid in the front row is like Hermione granger. My teacher asks a question and his hand SHOOTS up in the hair like at the speed of light and if he does not get called on right away he starts to like wave his hand around and if my teacher was Snape he would take away points. But sadly i dont go to Hogwarts yet because my letter got lost in the mail I think

Hereee we go!

Its true, we do love points.

Believe me, no one seen this coming

I love harry potter, and i love the bed intruder  <—– watch video there!!!!

My BIGGEST problem with the movies, lily and harry are SUPPOSED to have green eyes!!!!!! How expensive are colored contacts!?

hahahaha spoof of the old spice commercial <—- watch that commercial there!

Snape as a boggart is fabulous!!

I love mean girls!!! and harry potter!!

mean girls again!

mean girls again!

last mean girls one i swear

Let the twilight ones begin!

Just something to think about

Yep rob, you dun messed up. Everyone respected you when you were Cedric.

As i was gathering these pictures i was watching toddlers and tiaras, yes i like that, and the pageant director said they did not allow thong bikinis because not everyone has the body to pull off a thong bikini…..

Yeah, THATS why they should not be allowed…

OR MAYBE BECAUSE 5 YEAR OLDS BUTT CHEEKS WOULD BE HANGING OUT.

Your just asking pedophiles to go to the pageants…

 

i found cool stuff on the internet, which is not the cause of me turning into the hulk.

Published January 26, 2012 by shadycatlady

Not a lot has been going on, so i went ahead and found a bunch of shit on the internet that i think is hilarious. Key words: I THINK. I like weird things. But first i need to talk about a couple of things that annoyed the absolute crap out of me.

Oooookay that really weird english class i took about food you know? I still hate it. I not only hate it because it based around food and only food and like gardening and stuff but there is also the most annoying people in there. This girl, instead of a book bag, obviously bought the biggest Vera Bradly or whatever bag EVER. because it is so practical and good for your shoulders and posture and keeps the rain out. All sarcasm. This bag is the size of a small sedan, with an open top. She also only sits around the guys because she is annoying and talked about how she actually liked the article about the asparagus festival. uhh no, you did not. that was five pages of baby drool.

THEN there is the typical girl who doesnt know how to act around guys so she just acts like shes 12 and draws a little face on fist, you know where you can open its mouth the thumb or whatever and calls it ‘Stavie’ which must me “please punch my owner in the face” in Russian because that is what it makes me want to do.

Then there is this huge jock who talks like he is retarded and his friend asked if  he wanted to play basketball and he said maybe if i feel better as he was carrying a bottle of orange crush and a can of orange mountain dew like he was going to double fist them. Yeah you sure are sick

then a kid who looks like Mandark from dexters laboratory. He just sits there and does not be annoying.

 Mandark.

I also found out more information i never cared to learn about the most annoying person to ever grace the planet

She has one older brother and one younger brother, BUT she is the only child by her mother and the third by her dad. FASCINATING. And because of her two half brothers she is still a tomboy to this day because she “likes cars and stuff”. She was also THE ONLY GIRL IN HER ENTIRE SCHOOL to play sports. except her school, WHERE ONLY 15 PEOPLE GRADUATED (she said this three more time) had girl sports teams? “But like yeah they had sports teams for girls but not like football and i played football with the boys and like soccer”

So I’ve come to conclusion that she is literally insane and probably takes medication.

NOW FINALLY, on to all hilarious stuff i found:

i think this waaay to much…

‘the face’ never ever fails, even as a text message. must try

THOSE RULES WERE REAL THAT DAY I WORE A VEST!

Whats the big deal really

story of my life.
To make fun of the skinny people are ugly one thats going around. everyone has different taste, get over it.
even the census has a sense of humor.
oooh that 70’s show..
This would have been posted earlier except i had to go to the store with my parents which took like an hour and we only acquired six items and then my dad decided to drive the entire perimeter of the closed down mall at about 10 mphs even though it looked the same after every corner we passed. DEAD.
AND NOW MY DEVIL CAT IS DRIVING ME INSANE literally. I had nachos while i typed this and my cat acted like she had not eaten for months and i had to type with one had and block my food with the other and then when i was done there was cheese left on the plate and you might as well thought it was crack because she went crazy and now she has my blood pressure all high and i feel like im going to morph in purple capris and lose my mind, like the hulk.

I have mastered teleportation

Published January 24, 2012 by shadycatlady

Now a random fact, i hate dreaming. I just hate it. I use multiple dream catchers hoping they will accidently catch alllll my dreams so i can have a peaceful dreamless night. weird i know, but it is what it is im over it.

BUUUT the dream god have been very nice to me lately meaning i have had the best dreams ever. like Chuck Bass was in love me and I was in love with him and he got me a burberry coat because it was my favorite designer and my best friend jordan tried to break us up by saying i was always in it for the money but we didnt break up because we were madly in love and nothing would ever separate us.

And i also had an Iphone which was cool and was in the front row of a blink 182 concert in an auditorium that was located in a mens restroom. Yeah seriously i cant make this stuff up.

Also in my class is one of the grunge emo 90 stragglers who kind of looks like limp bizkit. He has an eyebrow piercing and a lip piercing and one of those awkward beanies that has a bill on it and he was wearing it sideways. He was wearing an alllllll skull hooded sweatshirt. and he had a nine inch nails bookbag with invader zim, happy bunny, and slipknot patches ironed on it. Yeah not the cool ‘tamogachi, skip it’, 90’s that i love.

I also woke up all early in the morning at 5:30 to walk in the kitchen and see my dad shaving his head, pretty normal i assume.

So i went back to bed and woke up in my moms bed, which reminded me of this:

So yes ive mastered teleportation like criss angel.

Or maybe i walked in to sleep with my mommy because i couldnt sleep like a toddler.

Now, i know everyone at my school does not wear jeans everyday. i never see other people wear sweatpants like me, everyone tries to dress cute like in high heeled boots and jeans and scarves and stuff. Is that normal? i just assumed after high school nobody cared anymore but i find myself feeling like the art freaks and everyone else is the plastics.

The girl i want to shoot a blow dart at reminded us all that she graduated from a class of fifteen which made me want to shoot myself in the head again. Why does she still talk.

Clarissa (my teacher who loves the ninetys) was also talking about how weird it would be to get back in the dating scene after being divorced at like 40. I’m like, listen Clarissa if i got divorced at like 40 i would totally just become a cougar and hang out the hippest bars and pick up young naive dudes. I worry about her. mostly because she was wearing a denim button up today with ironed on cat patches. ooooohh clarissa

 

A million blog posts into one! YAY

Published January 21, 2012 by shadycatlady

Lets re-cap my twitter posts since that is what i do when i write a blog anyways. Twitter is my pre-blog notepad.

Yeah one of my major pet peeves. You are a tool. Music does NOT need to be this loud and it is annoying. because your music sucks anyways and then you cant even hear anything else around you because there could be like major chaos behind you can a crazed murder  with a chain saw and you would never know. I hate you people
I dont know if people get this friendly nice person vibe from me or if i really am just THAT hott early in the morning but there is no need for you to sit directly next to me. Then he eats animal crackers in the dead silence and i have this disease where i literally cannot stand listening to people to chew or drink or the sound of drinks being poured or anything. Its a real disease im not that weird. so i have to keep sticking my finger in my ear like really fast over and over again and i probably look crazy but if i did not buffer that noise i would have choked him with my two hands or threw up all over the place
This. This speaks for itself. I accidentally took some weird comp II class thats ALL about food. my sub-conscience is trying to make me fat. but anyways he made us watch like the national hotdog eating contest and i find nothing about tiny asians eating 60 soggy wet hotdogs enjoyable so im sitting in the back really dry-heaving and trying to not throw up, when it comes down to the final hotdog and the clock is down to like two seconds and the asian throws up but he throws up INTO HIS HANDS AND THEN EATS HIS THROW UP. nope, right there. thats when i decided that this was way to much. nobody should care about hotdogs that much.
I prepped myself to sit in my bed all day friday when i check my phone and have three missed calls from my BFF asking me to pick her up form her college thats like 3 hours away, and since im like the best friend anyone could have, i asked my father to go get her so we set off on a roadtrip. except i have not eaten all day and my dad told me to pack stuff to eat on the way and my family lives like a couple of fraternity bachelors and there is never any food, so thats what my diet consisted of.
NOW, for a couple of my favorite tweets form people i follow, and urge you to follow.
Dane cook. I think he is hilarious and if you do not know what he is referring to in this tweet you are deranged, because he does an excellent little comedy skit on when he used to work at Burger king and someone made it into an equally hilarious cartoon. Please watch it here so we can still be friends —–> THE BK LOUNGE!!!
Quite possibly one of the funniest mock twitters. You know that girl you went to high school with that NEVER leaves and also doesnt know any current news and likes nickleback and stuff? yeah well someone made her a twitter and is saying things that she would say. SERIOUSLY HILARIOUS. ‘marshallz’ if you didnt go follow this after you read that word i urge you to do it now or forever be sad.
I also had to leave my first upset note on the window of a mini van when they parked um like ON TOP of my car at the el camino and you just dont do that stuff at a mexican restaurant because i eat a lot until i cant fit into my jeans and DO NOT want to suck in my stomach juuuuust to get in my car. so i did this..
i had to put mini is quotations so that they would pick up on my sarcasm because there was nothing tiny about that van. So i hope you had a hip hoppin time at the el camino because you parked so close to my car that when i tried to get in the door knocked my glasses off and felt like Velma. I also hate you.

a rant not related to my rockin new hair do.

Published January 19, 2012 by shadycatlady

I got my haircut today.

And when I get a haircut i like to make it a huge deal. I always think when I get it cut it’s going to look fifteen times shorter and kind of like an afro, like i just walked out of The Jackson 5.

So I think about it alllll day, and think about canceling it like fourteen times.

I stare at myself and reminisce about my long hair before it’s even gone. It includes a montage of great times we had together twirling in fields and getting ice cream on each others faces.

Well my hair dresser knows this about me because we sit in the chair and talk about how i really dont want any length off and just trim up the layers, but not a lot because i dont want short layers because i like my hair exactly how it is.

Which is why im getting a haircut

So im sitting there watching her literally dust the ends off of my top layers and look over and see a guy getting a fade and more hair from his head falling to the ground than mine.

So that is how my haircuts go.

I pay 20 dollars to have a panic attack and look exactly the same.

Yep nothing like a rage comic to sum up your life.

and now it is time for a rant.

If i was alloted one poisonous african blow dart i would have FOR SURE wasted it on the girl in my class that im about to describe to you.

She is sitting right in the front row eating an entire meal, like she could not have waited, and has something to say after EVERYTHING the teacher says.

I probably know her whole life story, she was just talking about things that had nothing to do with school:

My friend lived in India and they have such better fast food than here she brought me some and i was like omg where did you get this and she said India and i said omg take me with you!

Cool story BRO! do you have time to tell it again!!

I went to a very small high school, i was the valedictorian of a graduating class of FIFTEEN people. fifteen people. and I’m the only one who has a full time job.

Thats cool. You’re such an idol i aspire to be just like you because your so strong and smart. pffffft. right.

I work at the library and i have to deal with people yelling in my face all the time but i have to just keep smiling and be like have a great day

Yeah welcome to customer service. and I’m sure nobody is yelling in the library because well 1. it is a library, since the beginning of time everyone knows to be quiet in there and 2. what is there to be thaaaat upset about. get real.

I dont really understand what you’re saying

yeah well thats because the teacher is not done talking and im SUUURE she will explain it as soon as she finishes her sentence.

She also is the person that raises their hand every time they have something to say but if the teacher does not call on her within like the first 3 seconds you can see her get all annoyed.

And as i was walking out of that horrible class i seen a guy with i swear i dont even know how to explain it, it was literally a leather chip strap. Like a horse kind of. Why do people do things like this, they know they’re going to end up in my blog.

I also overheard the people behind me talking and the conversation went something like this

You heard me!

No i didn’t hear you

Welll den you shoulda heard me

Who just says things like that. and the conversation just ended there. she really should of heard him because he was done talking to her.

And there is always that one person in class whose phone goes off and they just look around, like whose phones going off.

ummmm YOURS IS i know its you, you can stop acting a fool now.

Well its time to watch Idol auditions. YAAAY for crushing spirits.

Also Brittany gibbons likes my blog, so you all should, and i LOVE her blog, so you all should read it —-> Click here because shes wildly inappropriate and great at naming things, like children

BOOM.