My future has never been more clear to me

Published January 8, 2012 by shadycatlady

I’ve reached a new level of lazyness.

I demand everyone ‘Heytell’ me instead of text me because typing is dumb. And if you dont know heytell is a walkie talkie app for your phone, it’s awesome.

I also seen Young Adult over the weekend. I’m sure this is how my life will end up. Moving off the biggest city in Ohio, which will still probably suck. and then the former love of my life will email me a picture of his new baby and i will go back to my awesome home town and try to win him back and make him break up with his wife and drink a bunch of distilled bourbon in a nerds garage and show up drunk to the baby naming ceremony and try to make up with him and then verbally assault his wife after she spills sangria all over my new dress.

I can see it now, I will do great things.

Other than that i spent the weekend at Money bags University with my best friend.

And my father bought us a bunch of free meals and then we sat in her room, which is right around the temperature of hell, and skyped with her mother and two 4 year old twin cousins where they yelled about hitting each others ‘buttocks’. Yeah they’re 4 so i don’t even know how they know those words, i think i just said ass.

I was kind of bad ass though. BUUT anyways we ended up watching old school at like 11:00 p.m after we sat around doing nothing for a few hours and then fell asleep. She never seen old school before so i made her watch it.


I casually woke her up at 11 am because i could NOT sit there and stare at her concrete ceiling any longer, plus i had to pee and you need a card to get in there because they’re super elite and i didnt know where it was but when she woke up she just told me to pee in my pants anyways, sooo….. she will be a great mother.

And then we went to the mall with my uncles girlfriend, who has a P.H.D in shopping so we were at the mall for like 5 hours, not that im complaining because shopping warms my heart like nothing else, i even drooled a little outside of tiffanys, because its beautiful.

AND thennnn my father took us all to long horn where i ate my weight in cheese fries and then ate a salad and then had some chicken and looked at my growing double chin in the mirror in the bathroom.

It was awesome.

But i start school again tomorrow so I hate my life and i need to sleep because i am unbearable without sleep.

No seriously, even worse than normal.

Plus were watching SNL cause we taped it, and this skit is HILARIOUS

Watch it HERE its called DRUNK UNCLE and im peeing my pants for real. its so funny. 

oh my god for real. Everyone has an uncle like this.

p.s sorry for the crappy quality, don’t like it? do your own googling..


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