Dodgeball. not the movie.

Published January 14, 2012 by shadycatlady

Clarissa was wearing the most fabulous outfit the other day.

Obviously pulled from her 90’s time machine.

She was wearing a red velour sweater with black faux fur around the collar and the ends of the sleeves (You know what im talking about everyone had one) with the matching black velour pants, and her hair in a sleek middle part.

I love her

Also everyone knows there is an unspoken seating chart when the teacher does not assign seats.

The first say is a free for all sit wherever you like, but after that first day, the seat you sat in is officially YOUR seat. everyone knows it, it is the Un-official seating chart.

WELL, it is day three of this certain class, everyone has been sitting in their own seats from day one, and i walk in the room and someone is sitting in my seat, but not just anyone, just guess who it is……

THE DAMN CONSTITUTION KID!!!!!

This kid was put on to Earth to make my life a challenge with his cross ass jeans and slicked back jet black hair, screw you dude.

I spent the remainder of the class trying to shoot laser beams out of my eyeballs at the back of his head while some guy sits directly next to me and tries to talk to me and stuff, dude im trying to channel my super powers and learn shit LEAVE ME ALONE.

I hate talking to people.

But you know what i don’t hate?

Watching kids beat the tar our of each other in a rousing game of dodgeball.

Let me explain, because that sounds kind of pedophile-ish, My dad is channeling his inner youth and is playing flag football and we got the arena or whatever a little early and there was a bunch of pre-teens there kicking balls around and stuff and then we sit down and they decide to play a game of dodgeball, it was perfect, like they channeled into my wishes. Oh and there was girls AND boys.

And these kids were not coordinated, except Austin, who everyone wanted on their team and was the best and managed to keep his trendy flat bill hat on the ENTIRE time. Yeah i’d want him on my team too.

These kids played with no mercy, i could literally hear these balls hit the kids faces (prison rules) guys were even hitting girls in the faces, which i admired because it was the typical annoying pre-teens like

omg austin your so dumb i hate you *wimpy on purpose throw and then fixes her hair and yoga pants and laughs really loud at things that arnt even funny. Yeah those girls

And this kid in an orange shirt kept getting out and then the kids would still throw balls at him, like super hard, even though he was out, it was hilarious.

and then they decided to play this game where one person has the ball and they ALL try to tackle that person and break their ribs, well i dont know if it was requirement, but these kids honored no rules and were fighting for blood.

So the kid falls and then an annoying girl tries to not trip over him and thinks shes all sweet and athletic and on Austins level when she in fact does NOT trip and fall, and then all her dreams go out the window when in fact DOES trip and doesnt even try to catch herself and lands literally, i kid you not, on her Neck/face.

Aint nothin like some astro-turff burns on your neck to make austin think your a hottie. Good luck pre-teens, except you Austin, everyone loves you.

me and my mom are also making chocolate chip cookie, oreo, brownies right now, so ill keep you updated.

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