Being a veteran in the art of popping car tires you could imagine by sense of panic when my low tire pressure light came on on my way to school. I get all hot and am like I don’t remember hitting a curb, there is no way the tire is popped, maybe it just literally has low pressure. But that did not stop me from thinking about turning around on the express way and going to my local belle tire where I would have to sit in the little waiting room for hours in my huge green pajama pants next to a guy missing all his teeth who thinks Bruce Jenner is a girl and doesnt know who the Kardashians are as we sit there and watch Kims Fairytale Wedding.
Horrible Horrible flashbacks.
So I get out of my car as I arrive to school and go around the perimeter of the car kicking each tire, which is the way I gauge my tire pressure, and it all seemed good and I had in fact not blown out a third tire. Which was a relief until i remembered i didnt wear makeup to school today so when I go to the tire place they probably are not going to help me fill up my tires and say Hey little boy you fill up yer own damn tires! and then watch out the window as I single handedly deflate all my tires.
Also another touchy subject, love. I hate when people complain about other people loving each other! That came out all confusing, yes I am aware. But for real people say like omg you’ve been dating a month you don’t love each other. Granted I also think that is annoying, I dont say anything because I mean it is none of my business. I can’t tell if those two people really each other because I’m not a psychic gypsy or The Long Island Medium.
Lets keep the love fortunes up to this spunky soccer mom people. Because I mean we have all been there. You totally think you love someone after he like asks to borrow your pencil or something and if someone questioned our undying immediate love I would want to give you a horrible M.A.S.H fortune.
I also baked brownies with my mom last night. Where she revealed that she was still upset that when she was a child her sister always got the beater with the most batter on it. Because her sister was the favorite. And then she said something about how nobody was eating the powdered eggs, which led me to believe she was on a copious amount of drugs. Or shes crazy. Turns out somehow she just got her words mixed up and meant to say nobody was eating the boiled eggs. Boiled, Powdered whatever same thing.
I also had to publicly shame my mother into taking my picture. She has, literally, a small fortune invested in camera equipment and never wants to take a picture. Helllloooooooo it’s what your supppposed to do. So I had to tweet about how sad I was and she felt bad and seen the error of her ways and took my picture! Yay I win
This is what we came up with. I quite like it. Maybe I’ll tape this to my face so that the people will fill up my tires for me because I’ll probably get overly excited and fill them up too much and they will explode.
Also when it goes from like 20 degrees here, up to like 40, people freak out. They act like its 90 degrees and wear shorts and short sleeved shirts. And then everyone complains about being sick. Why don’t you suppress your urge to wear your booty shorts until it is actually hott outside, until then dress like it is actually 40 degrees. You know coats and stuff
Thank you Willy Wonka, someone else feels the same exact way I do apparently.
In other news unrelated to everything I found this on the internet and it made me lol
It flows together so seamlessly. It is still amazing me im still laughing. I love it
I also just hit 100 followers on pinterest! If it is wrong to be that excited then I dont want to be right.
i also just seen somebody carrying around a quesadilla maker. Yeah I dont know