The most of the post is going to be about annoying teenagers. Yes I am aware that I am, in fact, a teenager. I’m talking more about 14-15 year olds who are almost positive they are the coolest people to walk the astro turf at the local indoor football/hockey/basketball center. Which leads us to the exact situation
It was my dads last football game on friday so me and my mother went to go watch it, the only downside in addition to the hockey feet smell, is the fact that it obviously has become the hip new hangout for teenagers to walk around and do absolutely nothing except annoy me. The basketball something or whatever is on the other side of the curtain is right next to the football field, and is obviously seperated by a curtain as i stated above, but I havent been over there so i cannot confirm what it is. All i know is that all the teenagers have to cross right in front of us to get there to smoke pot or make-out or whatever they could possibly find fun over there. lucky us.
And lucky you because they don’t talk quiet and I got to hear all their urgently important and fascinating stories.
they each walked past us like fourteen times because they obviously couldnt decided what they wanted to do. Or they wanted to let everyone hear their stories and impress the teen boy with a girl haircut and tight clothes.
Every piece of hair was straightened to a perfect straight line in exception to the couple that spent hours on the messy bed head look and teased their hair until it fell out. And if one of these girls wasnt pregnant she was about to be. Her clothes were so tight you could see a definite baby bump hopefully because if it not it was a huge gut the kind of gut your crazy uncle has that looks rock solid and perfectly round. Hasn’t this girl hear of a girdle. or any size other than extra small. Which leads me to the next girl who was wearing jeans obviously two sizes too small and belt squeezing them even tight paired with a cropped hollister sweater. Her muffin top was hanging out. Listen you are whatever size you are, you dont need to squeeze yourself into jeans that are obviously toooo small for you.
I would try to find the quote from hannah montana where she says that she tried to tell her uncle earl that skinny jeans don’t make you skinny if youre already fat. but nowadays when you google miley cyrus you just get bongs, penis cakes and pictures of her making fun of asians. Did i mention i love her?
Also the girls think its cool to wear flat bill hats now? I dont understand that at all. Flat bills make everyone look like they are auditioning for the tool academy. Guys can wear hats because their hair looks dumb 99.999% percent of the time and also can hide premature balding or can cover up those frosted tips youre trying to grow out. But girls? I’ll never get it. Girl hair is generally awesome and even if it isnt awesome the owner of said hair thinks its awesome anyways so I dont get the functionality of it, it only hides one your best features and make its look like you want to go to a concert and talk about how much the band sucks and then go back stage and try to make out with every single person back stage. even the lights guy or whatever. To her her own i guess or however that goes.
Also that goes along with the half-shaved head thing. That may be cool this month but sometime very soon that will, thank god, not be cool anymore and youll want to do something else with your hair except you have to let it grow out, like all the effing way to catch up to the other side of your head and then youll have half a bob and half long hair and you’ll hate your life. Choose your trends wisely.
Also the teenagers obviously had their parents drop them off which gives them the freedom to say cuss words like ‘hell’ without of fear of getting their cell phones taken away, Because they will DIE. So you hear the occasional cuss word flung out that was worded so awkwardly because they had obviously not said it a lot and don’t know how it works.
also remember in 2007 when super distressed/ripped jeans were the coolest things ever but your mom would never buy them for you because she wasnt going to pay 89 dollars for half a pair of pants? Well this girl didnt get the memo that those went out of style right when jean skirts did and was wearing the most distressed jeans i have ever seen. They were like Jean shorts with long jean capes hanging off of them. because they were just ripped wide open the whole way down. She also had a super heavy side bang and it was super messy and was telling some guy in a flat bill about how her sister almost got onto Drakes tour bus. Thats when me and mother started laughing out loud.
we also started laughing out loud when this family came in and both of her daughters were listening to ipods and playing on their nintendo DS’s and the son was playing on an ipad and she was on her phone. Why even go out to a family function if youre just going to ignore each other.
Hey mom can my friend DS come to the football game
yeah sure honey hold on im trying to put something in my blackberry
grab the ipods and the ipad
they were also rolling deep in about 500 dollars worth of Australian sheepskin footwear. The 1950’s would punch us all in the face if it knew what families did this decade.
So i let my imagination run rapid on the whole annoying teenager thing and gathered these pictures
All I have to say about every single teenager is
Well its time to watch the oscars. Even though im sure all the movies sucked. Hopefully Tim Gunn tells someone to make it work.
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