I hate the Oscars. and School. and shaving commercials….

Published February 28, 2012 by shadycatlady

I’ll get to my super pissed off rant about the oscars in a minute.

Hey remember when i told you about the most annoying girl to ever walk the planet? If not, click the link. and if you do remember. I have more awesome news about her life that she forced me to find out about. Her family paid 350,000 for their house, but since the market has went down her house is only worth like 2,000. but im sure she meant 200,00 dollars. but guess who doesnt care? me. Also her dad used to make 3,000 a week. Why does she tell us these things? I honestly have no idea. She is deranged.

Also I had a conference with my teacher who looks like shaggy but acts like, well i dont know who, someone who is very serious and loves the environment and wears thick sweaters. So i have to go in his office and look at his beautiful iMac computer that i want. So he picks up the paper, kind of reads the first page, puts it down, flips through the other pages sets them all down. Picks them all back up, sighs a lot, reads the first page, writes on it, and then puts it down, reads the second page, writes MORE stuff on the first page, writes stuff on the second page, and repeats the process on all the pages. While this is going on I get to sit there and sweat because I’m sure he’s going to say mean things and look around in his weirdly serious office. He has greeting cards with cranes on them and basses on them and then a weird greeting card that looks like abe lincoln holding a huge dead fish in front of a girl abe lincolns body, its the oddest thing. and then i feel like i want to throw up because i see the look on his face and his sighs and whatever but he keeps his recycling bin right next to the garbage can and im scared im going to throw up into his recycling bin, which would piss him off because he LOVES recycling and has a weird sign that says something like “We wont fish in your oil pit if you dont drill in our rivers” and it doesnt help that the door across the hall from his has a spongebob cartoon on the door and an x-ray of homer simpsons head. Why me.

One last thing, I just watched a commercial where the lady was jump roping and it turned into water and smack her legs to talk about hydration in shaving. But thats not the point. The point is that im sure nobody wants to be hit in the legs with a jump rope. Specifically my mom, whom im sure received flashbacks from this commercial. My mothers cousin michaleen hit her with a jump rope when they were kids, sparking a life long frienemy relationship due to the fact that michaleen never got in trouble for it. Also my mother can resist bringing it up at family functions.

Now, time to get PISSED. 1. Hugo can rot in hell and 2. Harry Potter deserved an Oscar. That was THE best makeup job ever. I actually believe that Ralph Fiennes has no nose. I know he doesnt. thats how good it was. So in order to show harry potter the recognition it deserves I once again, found a bunch of shit on the internet. I love google!

Thank you Harry Potter for being my entire life. Oscars are for foreign people and Meryl Streep anyways.

The only good thing about the Oscars was this

How stunning is Jessica Chastain’s Alexander Mcqueen dress? I see a lot of fleur Delacours dress in this, and yes i know that alexander basically has that exact dress, and probably first, I could give two shits. I liked Fleurs better.

 

 

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