The secret mom school. and roadkill.

Published March 3, 2012 by shadycatlady

Yes, I am aware that nobody will be reading my blog this week because 99% of my friends list is on spring break and that means that everybody is going to be drunk all day for five days and in consequent forget how to read, shower and talk in full formed, grammatically correct sentences. I personally have never been to Florida or any other vacation hot-spot before, so i don’t see the need to start now. And also because I am poor and have no desire to sit by an ocean because I hate natural made bodies of water and I guess I hate pools kind of, so I just hate all forms of water. The joys of being the exact definition of a fire sign.

This is me by any form of water

When I was little I was 100% positive that moms got special powers when they grew up. As I witnessed my best friends aunt cut up three pancakes for her son in 5 seconds today, it affirmed my suspicions. There are just certain things that I can’t do that I am sure will still come in time, like cutting up a whole meal in the time it takes me to realize the food was actually brought to the table. Also when I was a child I was always concerned with the fact that i could NOT ever say “KittyKittyKittyKitty” in a super fast voice like my mom could. So i was sure that would just come in time because well, my mom could do it and as I sat up for hours in my pink barbie bed trying to get the seamless phrase of endless “KittyKittyKitty’s” to roll right off of my tongue it wasnt happening so I accepted the fact that I could wait until I was my mom’s age when it would just dawn upon me in the day light.

That day has not came yet.

I also spent the day going to Ann Arbor with my best friend because they have the Jesus Christ of shopping there. But on the way the road is directly next to like, open fields, so obviously the road is littered with road kill. I am NO fan of roadkill. When i see roadkill when im driving I actually shut my eyes because I just can not look at it. There was a dead squirrel in the road by my bus stop many of years ago and this animal was as flat as a pancake and I had to stare into its flat beady eyes every.day. I have not rode a bus since. It took all my willpower not to throw up in the ditch and pass out and smack my head on the pavement and die in front of all my class mates. Anyways back to real time. The road is just littered with road kill. I am dry heaving for 45 minutes. and then im sure i see the littered body of an extra large king Grizzly Bear. I also think I saw a dog but i decided to tell my mind it was NOT an adorable puppy because I would have cried for fifteen minutes, like that time I hit a bird, So I did what I do every time i see roadkill, I convince myself it was just a sweater. So im always like “Wow, there are so many sweaters on this road!” other wise I would puke and cry and kill everyone on the road. I was also searching for funny roadkill pictures but this came up instead and it is equally enjoyable

Also my cat ALWAYS jumps on the counter, sometimes even the stove, which is currently in use and is as hott as hell and burns her whiskers (CLICK HERE INCASE YOU MISSED IT) so when we tell her to get off of the counter she just looks at us like, than why dont you feed me you stupid humans. and then we all get mad at each other.

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