Things my fabulously bad cat taught me.

Published March 5, 2012 by shadycatlady

My blog name has the name cat in it, yet I never talk about how fabulous and awesome my cat, Gato, it is. Which is weird because that is basically all I talk about out loud. I was never allowed to have a pet because something like me and my mom arent responsible and don’t know how to clean or something. But then I came home one day and there was the cutest cat in the world sitting in my kitchen. Because we had a mouse. One step forward one step back I know. And also my mom thought she was ugly when we got her and she likes to deny it because she has flourished into a fluffy ball of cuteness. and she is also bad. Very bad. So without further interruption here are 10 things my cat has taught me:

  1. It is never to late to scare the shit out of your mom. Like when you find a mouse in the dead of night and keep it in your mouth and beg outside your moms bedroom door to let you in so you can show her…..and so she can freak out.
  2. Do whatever you want. Whenever you want. If your family is out at dinner and you feel like dragging a ladle into the living room, do it.
  3. Don’t Discriminate. Feel free to hate everyone equally. Hit old people with your paws until they talk about our generation as if we were fed rat poison instead of milk and can’t raise anything to save our lives, hit babies until they cry and come back for more because you’re so cute and then make them cry again, and then hit everyone in between
  4. If people don’t invite you somewhere, feel free to invite yourself because their obviously having a party. If you owners walk into a room and shut the door, you do everything you can to get in. Meow until you can no longer speak, ‘scratch’ the door with your non-existent nails, throw your whole body into it, because nobody throws a party without you
  5. You are the actual boss. The people who own you may be called your ‘owners’ but really when was the last time they told you to do something and you listened. When was the last time you told THEM to do something and they listened? daily.
  6. You ARE the best thing to walk the earth. Everyone else is dirtier than you and you are a regal and most majestic creature and it doesn’t matter if anyone else says anything different, because well, you KNOW you’re the best.
  7. Breakfast is important. and it is important to have it immediately when you open eyes, even if the people who feed you are still sleeping peacefully, ask nicely i’m sure they will say yes.
  8. Don’t give up. If your mom is cooking and uses butter and you want some, don’t give up just keep asking using your loud outdoor voice and twirling around her feet to let her know you are still alive and would like some butter.
  9. Don’t let anyone mess with your sleep because it is priority number one. If someone is sitting down and you want to sleep go lay on them right before they were about to do something because you’re the boss and they will no longer move. also don’t let your mom try to tell you to sleep at the bottom of the bed, sleep right dead center in the middle because it is what you want.
  10. Don’t compromise quality for quantity. If someone tries to feed some whack ass cat food while they’re eating steaks make it absolutely clear that you’d rather starve than eat that nasty food and hit them until you get steak.

And I’m obviously going to include pictures, because that is the majority of all my pictures.

 I find her in the weirdest places.

 Like i said…..the weirdest places.

 She does whatever she wants. Keep standing on my laptop and begging for homemade cheez-its, you’ll get it.

 She requires feeding about 25 times a day, and prefers human food.

 She also eats at the table because she is NOT an animal, she is a human.

 but she sleeps like an angel…

 She also really loves people. This is not rare, she is always like this to people who are not me, my mother, or dad.

Isn’t she lovely? feel free to be jealous.

Also if you want to know how to make those homemade cheez-its and mini pizzas mosey your way on over to my moms blog

CLICK HERE FOR MY MOMS BLOG

The recipes are step-by-step with step-by-step pictures and always features my cat. because she loves food..

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2 comments on “Things my fabulously bad cat taught me.

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