So two days ago I woke up and my foot was the size of a pack of hotdogs that exploded and were enlarged with a reverse “Honey I shrunk the kids” machine. For no apparent reason because I would remember that kind of damage. I’m sure feet that look like mine have gotten run over by a semi truck.
But you know, ahem, MY BIRTHDAY WAS FRIDAY. And on Saturday I went to dinner with my friends and nothing was going to stop me from wearing my asinine wedge platform shoes. So I squeeze my foot in the shoe and adjust the ankle strap to the biggest option to be able to fit around my cankle.
And aside from almost falling in the parking lot in front of a few fellows and placing the first un-avoidable skid in my new yellow tights, It was all good.
So I got home and waited up till midnight so I could finally drink pop and eat candy and not be immediately damned to hell. So I like 47 starburst jelly beans, 3 of those little wax bottles full of probably juice flavored battery acid, and a cherry coke while my mom wrapped up my hotdog foot in an ace bandage, What is that going to do you ask? Yeah I have no idea but it looks cool and it is every second graders dream to have an ace bandaged foot and a cast and crutches.
And then I passed out high on sugar and caffeine and woke up sweating from my heating blanket and no pants on. to find that my foot was still huge and gigantic and the bandage just smooshed all the fat footyness and made interesting shapes.
But It was easter and I had to wear wedges again.
So I decided to rock the bandage in my wedge for extra support. And so it hurt. All day. And still right now.
Also it was my uncles birthday today so him and my dad and all their friends went to the bar last night and they all woke up here with no idea how it happened. It was like the hangover. My dad woke up with a cellphone that was not his, my uncle remembers crying, my aunts boyfriend walked all the way home because he thought everybody left him there and then woke up still wasted, and when I woke up the freezer was open, there was spaghetti on the coffee table, and a full open beer on the porch and the coffee table.
We dont believe in dull moments.
So while my family was nursing their hangovers I actually had time to get ready!
I finally got to use my gold eyeshadow AND green eyeliner. At the same time! The combination made me eyes looks super green, so I was very excited because nobody believes me when I say I have green eyes, They just assume I mean brown. Like when waitress assume me and my best friend are lesbians and put us on the same bill that we cannot split because we both only have credit cards.
I also got to wear my new shirt I got while shopping in Ann Arbor for my birthday!
I got that super cute corset-y top from Pitaya! which is the harry potter of stores. which means it rocks. They have everyyyything and a bunch of different designers and its kind of color coordinated and it is just all beautiful. Its my new favorite top and I’ll probably wear it all the time. Plus its stretchy so after I ate 3 pounds of pasta salad, 67 reeses eggs, and some sour jolly rancher stuff It still fit. I cant say the rest for my jeans.
Oh I was hiding my face because I just dont like the way it was looking in the these pictures because I looked like an old tired lady. I wasnt trying to be quirky and weird.
So Easter was prettty uneventful because we had to literally wake everybody up to eat and then they all fell back asleep in food/beer/hangover comas.
My laptop is going to die and i am entirely to lazy to go in my room and get it, plus I’m running out of things to talk about. So I’m going to eat more candy because I just finished my second dinner tonight. YAY dinners.
I got this good picture on my instagram though! So that was exciting for me. Follow me on instagram to keep up with what im doing and things that i think are cool but actually arent! Mini_Lutman
Also I post pictures of my cat because she’s so cute. Pretty much the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my ENTIRE life.