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All posts for the month May, 2012

Gone for no good reason.

Published May 24, 2012 by shadycatlady

holy shit I’ve been gone forever.

Why you ask? For no particular reasons other than my life is a void of the same shit everyday.

A.K.A BORING.

My poor little car got hit, yet again, but the people did not just leave like last time

On the downside its about 4000x worse. But it is going to get fixed, it was not my fault, and nobody was hurt so I can’t really be that upset.

What I can be upset about is that my mom won’t let me get “Bieber” tattooed on my neck.

How will my man ever know how truly devoted I am to him if I do not have his name tattooed on my neck in an almost unreadable script font.

I mean, I see tons of neck tattoos on important elite people.

So she will eventually come around.

Also reality TV has not been my thing lately.

First, Kim wins survivor, whom I like, but I wanted to ghetto fabulous Alicia to win because she was well, ghetto fabulous, and funny.

And then Aubrey O’day doesnt even make the apprentice finale. She was honestly hilarious. She thought she WAS the celebrity apprentice, she did everything, she thought of everything, she was the best. And I’m pretty sure she was the only one who thought that. But it wouldve been funny to hear her talk about herself some more on the finale.

Also I really wanted Dyana to win because she had an accent and was cute and she, like I, hated Lisa Lampinelli.

But Arsenio won, which is who I wanted out of the two because Clay Aikens new face creeps me out…

And then Phillip Phillips won American Idol. Hollie Cavanough was my girl, I was rootin for her from the start and then America had a temporary brain relapse and forgot to vote for her and she went home. Then I decided to change allegiance to Jessica Sanchez because she was a girl and I am sick of dudes winning, but the pre-teens won again and voted for phillip because he had a guitar and weiner.

So my house was full of temper tantrums this week while we caught up on all those TV shows because my dad has been at work.

Now I have to go catch up on my TV shows from January and look at this zit directly on my forehead.

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Jackass

Published May 15, 2012 by shadycatlady

Hi I’m Johnny Knoxville and welcome jackass

*Catchy guitar solo*

When you hear that you know that some crazy shit is about to happen.

The cast members of jackass are literally just children with a shit ton of money.

As I was watching it last night, between the “oh my gods” and fake vomiting, I could not help but realize how happy they are doing it.

Which is odd to me because if someone shot pee at me out of a water gun I’d be a little less than thrilled.

Easily one of the most entertaining cast members is Chris Pontius. And I mean most entertaining just sitting around not doing anything.

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He was wearing a bikini top and bunny ears. One more than more than one occasion. Like maybe this was his go to outfit. I was dying. All he does is wear ridiculous outfits, or no outfit at all, and smile. He ALWAYS has this HUGE ridiculous smile on his face. Even if a scorpion just stung him in the face.

Can you imagine just waking up one morning and saying to your friends

You know what I wanna do today, lets go buy a big blue pool and try to slingshot each other into it while they are on skateboards.

And they go out and buy ALL the supplies and then build a ramp and some type of human slingshot device and then ruin it all. And think it is hilarious!

Well I mean it is hilarious, but wasting my money would not be hilarious to me.

But they have so much money it doesn’t even matter.

When they are all together it HAS to be impossible to do anything.

I wouldn’t sleep, I wouldn’t eat, I wouldn’t even go to the bathroom.

Because every time someone tried to use the bathroom it literally exploded with blue paint.

And then Bam Margera peed on everyone.

And everyone laughed because nobody gets mad.

Also they thought it was so funny that somebody fell for their trick when they asked them to bring in a tray FULL OF SOUP so they could smack him with a HUGE hand.

They could NOT believe he fell for it “Hey can you bring in this tray full of soup to the kitchen” and you know what, I couldn’t believe it either, if they asked me to bring in a bunch of soup I would be like NOPE. Get your own damn soup.

After watching Jackass 2.5 and Jackass 3 I came to two conclusions.

1. I may actually want to marry steve-o

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and

2. If I had the chance to do it I probably would.

Amendment One in North Carolina

Published May 8, 2012 by shadycatlady

Please refrain from posting anti-gay comments. You are entitled to your own opinion as am I, but I do not care to hear yours, and if you do not want to hear mine simply do not read this.

As a country I thought we were growing the right way.

North Carolina has just slapped me right in the face.

Amendment one has passed in North Carolina, which means marriage between a man and a woman will be the only union recognized from now on. No civil unions or domestic partnerships will be recognized there at all.

I was so sure that things like this were going to get better and that we were finally opening our eyes to what was right and fair but I guess I was wrong.

And I know other states have this law, I’m not sure which ones, but I thought maybe states were done passing things like it.

Its like modern day slavery. People are being discriminated against for no reason other than someone just saying it is wrong.

It makes me sick to live in a country where people who truly love each other cannot get married. I mean we let men have more than one wife, we let people marry their cousins yet we can’t let two people who really love each other of the same gender get married.

I think it is 100% percent right and I fully support gay marriage and I hope someday I can do all I can to help out the cause because it is one thing I am very serious about.

I hope with all my heart one day we will be able to look back on a time like this and think of how ridiculous and barbaric it was that gay couples could not get married, like how we look back on slavery now, because I know that laws like these are not right at all and equality in love is what it is truly right.

Excuse me while I go throw up from disgust.

The Bad Girls Club

Published May 7, 2012 by shadycatlady

I would like to personally thank the brown leather super tan mom. Because of her obsession with tanning everyone was googling ‘Tanorexia’ and ended up on my blog.

because I once briefly discussed tanorexia here on this post 

I kid you not, EVERYONE, my blog got over 1,400 views in one day.

Which is a shit ton for me.

So I’ve been slacking on blogging since I’ve been getting over like 500 views daily but I’m back bizitches. I’ve also been slacking because I’ve been vlogging lately. So if I’ve been M.I.A on here for a couple days mosey on over to my vlog channelll ——> MiniLutman Youtube holla!

Which I vlogged on today and dressed up like Drew Carey. It was not a pleasant sight. Theres also some about facebook and spray tans because I have no life.

I have no idea what to do with myself now that school is over and my work hired someone else to snatch up me and the other girl’s hours. Im home….alll….the….time.

I’ve spent today watch The Bad Girls Club with my cat.

And im just like, What the hell……..

All they do is touch each other stuffs and break it and then fight each other.

OH and then they get all mad and are like “You all are bitches and I cant trust anyone”

BITCH you are on THE BAD GIRLS CLUB. You can not possibly complain that the girls are mean to you. those girls got picked to be on the show because they are mean.

Watching it really makes my blood boil. like I just wanna go on that show and fight them all. and then i remember that it is pre-taped and that I cant fight, like at all, so I just settle down.

But really, they got a new girl like in the middle of the season, they dont even know her and theyre like, lets just jump her and get her to leave we dont want her here.

SO THEY DID.

and they threw all her stuff and her mattress in the pool. shit, i would have left immediately.

After I cried and begged for mercy.

But for real, where do they find bitches like these. All they do is drink, break shit in their house and fight each other.

And its not even like they dont want to fight and it just happens, they WANT to fight each other, they make each other fight each other.

I’m going to be doing this all day………….

Please help me.

I can feel myself getting dumber and more ghetto and Im probably going to drink all my moms liquor and break all our fine home furnishings.

Word Vomit: Holy Boobies!!!!

Published May 2, 2012 by shadycatlady

Now unless you are a dugger, amish, viral video hater you would know that little miss Kate Upton did a jiggly dance in something I think an exotic dancer would wear. It most certainly is not a bikini. I am including the link in here so incase you didn’t see it, you can watch it and not be out of the loop.

and if you DID happen to see it, I’m sure you will watch it again.

Perverts.

WATCH KATE UPTON CAT DADDY HERE! click me click me click me

also maybe if your a minor you shouldnt watch this, because well, for many reasons. ask your mom

you might even need to sign in to youtube to watch it. Thats how promiscuous Kate Upton got.

and on that note I think my greasey pizza for one just got here………..

Mini Vacation

Published May 1, 2012 by shadycatlady

Yeah, I’ve been M.I.A for like a week or whatever.

But really my life has been boring and I’ve been busy doing what I do best, failing exams.

But I did get a chance to sneak in a mini vacation

I went up to my family’s cottage on saturday and sunday last weekend.

and it was magical.

I love nothing more than doing nothing. Plus I have not had a Saturday off since St. Patricks Day so I was due for a saturday off. Even if it was the one saturday every 3 months where we have to stay all late and hand count every single item in the store. I needed it.

So I wake up saturday morning and decide on whim to get a spray tan. and I looked FABULOUSLY tan. Like Jersey Shore tan without looking cheap and trashy and I was most certainly not wearing affliction or Ed Hardy.

I was wearing my capris with cats on them.

So we drive an hour and a half stuffed in my moms SUV while we all listen to my cousin name every breed of bird on the way.

I could probably get my PHD in birdology after that weekend.

Yes I am aware that that is probably not the term but i dont care enough to look it up.

So me and my best friend spent the weekend watching harry potter and drinking hott butterbeer. Which is just butter and brown sugar melted and then poured into boiling cream soda with a couple splashes of butter scotch schnapps.

I know, real specific. I think it was something like 4 tbs of brown sugar and maybe like 2-3 tbs of butter, then a 2 liter of cream soda.

mmmm delicious. You wouldve seen this if you followed me on instagram Mini_Lutman

oh and you can pour some plain cream in the cup before your dump your hot delicious beverage in there.

quite delicious. Plus it doesnt get you white girl wasted, which is ideal when you are watching your favorite movie series ever in the whole world.

But if you like getting white girl wasted I’m sure you could adjust it accordingly.

We also had a little photoshoot in water that was so cold I’m sure it was frozen.

Arent spray tans awesome!?

and then we drove around and shopped and ate and stuff it was pure bliss. Cottages are like little separate worlds where times slows down you drink cocktails and get tired at 7 p.m

I can’t wait to go back.

But starting tomorrow after 10:30 a.m I am on summer vacation.

Let’s get weird.