Hi I’m Johnny Knoxville and welcome jackass
*Catchy guitar solo*
When you hear that you know that some crazy shit is about to happen.
The cast members of jackass are literally just children with a shit ton of money.
As I was watching it last night, between the “oh my gods” and fake vomiting, I could not help but realize how happy they are doing it.
Which is odd to me because if someone shot pee at me out of a water gun I’d be a little less than thrilled.
Easily one of the most entertaining cast members is Chris Pontius. And I mean most entertaining just sitting around not doing anything.
He was wearing a bikini top and bunny ears. One more than more than one occasion. Like maybe this was his go to outfit. I was dying. All he does is wear ridiculous outfits, or no outfit at all, and smile. He ALWAYS has this HUGE ridiculous smile on his face. Even if a scorpion just stung him in the face.
Can you imagine just waking up one morning and saying to your friends
You know what I wanna do today, lets go buy a big blue pool and try to slingshot each other into it while they are on skateboards.
And they go out and buy ALL the supplies and then build a ramp and some type of human slingshot device and then ruin it all. And think it is hilarious!
Well I mean it is hilarious, but wasting my money would not be hilarious to me.
But they have so much money it doesn’t even matter.
When they are all together it HAS to be impossible to do anything.
I wouldn’t sleep, I wouldn’t eat, I wouldn’t even go to the bathroom.
Because every time someone tried to use the bathroom it literally exploded with blue paint.
And then Bam Margera peed on everyone.
And everyone laughed because nobody gets mad.
Also they thought it was so funny that somebody fell for their trick when they asked them to bring in a tray FULL OF SOUP so they could smack him with a HUGE hand.
They could NOT believe he fell for it “Hey can you bring in this tray full of soup to the kitchen” and you know what, I couldn’t believe it either, if they asked me to bring in a bunch of soup I would be like NOPE. Get your own damn soup.
After watching Jackass 2.5 and Jackass 3 I came to two conclusions.
1. I may actually want to marry steve-o
2. If I had the chance to do it I probably would.